Why men have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded matter that no one wants to chat about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on since ancient times. Affairs can be filled with evils, cause sadness, and other troubles. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and openness thing, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, shame, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I shall classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two people of whom one or both are married to other persons, discreet dating for married.
Why do women have affairs? There are as many answers as there are men seeking affairs. I think mostly though it is only the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the caring for another individual, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos people has erected against affairs. For lots of individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their family, but society too. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, maybe some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your family or anybody else? You would need to lessen the hazard you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, enormous actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are comfortable in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to look after. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extramarital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage uharmed.
Neglect, sadly this is a regular reason I fear. One or the other, as a rule the guy is sexually neglecting his woman for a tones of reasons. As a man I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a shortage of love, maybe caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have simply grown apart, our general concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.